Do you ever talk to yourself? Please say that you do because if you don’t, then I am out here on my own. I’ve been feeling metacognitive recently. One of my former college professors defined metacognition as, “thinking about your thinking.”
According to Merriam-Webster, it is an “awareness or analysis of one’s own learning or thinking processes.” So even though metacognition sounds complicated or even mystical to me, it’s a pretty ordinary process. When I say I have been feeling kind of “meta” lately I mean to say that I have been observing my thought patterns which at times seem like an inaudible voice. Have you ever noticed that you can hear something inside of your head that is not audible? For example, when I sing a Lauren Daigle song in my head, I sound just like her but if I open my mouth, my car passengers are quick to cover their ears and beg me to stop singing. We read “in our head”, we count numbers “in our head”, sometimes we practice a conversation “in our head” and I will admit it, I get into fights with people “in my head”.
Humans are wired to think negatively whether for self-preservation or just as a result of our fallen state I don’t know, but when we have a deadline, we worry and stress because we may fail to meet it. When we have an appointment, we fret and fuss because we worry we may be late. When I know Christmas is approaching, dread enters my psyche and I start making all manner of deals with myself to maintain some degree of comfort and joy in the midst of such a hyped-up season. The human brain leans towards negativity and I am no exception. When a situation does not unfold the way I had hoped, the negative train starts choo-chooing circles around my thought processes. It sounds something like this:
“What were you thinking?”
“You are such a (name depends on level of disappointment).”
“You really screwed that up.”
“Why did you even think that was going to work?”
“What is wrong with you?”
“Just quit.”
Last week, the thought occurred to me that there must truly be a voice residing inside of my head. Who am I kidding? There are multiple voices residing in my head. I am tempted to make a cheesy joke about a certain mental health condition but I don’t want to contribute to outdated ideas that attempt to define what constitutes if a person is “normal” or “crazy”. I would rather contribute to a conversation about mental health that embraces individuality and the unique effects of ACEs (Adverse Childhood Events) on individual people.
One of the voices that I hear I will call “Love” because she always hopes, always trusts, always believes everything will turn out well. Love says things like, “Try again, you’re learning!”, “You need rest”, “I am so proud of you for ___”, or, “Trust Him.”
Then there is “Rude”. Rude is pretty mean. He lives to discourage me. Always dumping on me when I already feel down. He says things like, “You are so messed up in the head”, “I knew you weren’t going to make it to yoga today”, “You should have _____.”
Lastly, there is “Liar”. He makes Rude look like sunshine and rainbows. Liar is pretty much the opposite of Love. He is dishonest in a most twisted way because he will take a truth and twist it in such a devious way that it looks like it could be true but really it is a disgusting lie in a devilish disguise.
These are the most prominent voices that I hear inaudibly on a daily basis. No wonder I am tired by midday! It’s like that really good Pixar movie, Inside Out. Whether you want to personify them or not, there are messages that all of us manage inside of our minds all the time.
There are moments in my day-to-day life when Rude and Liar get really loud and what I have started to practice is a metacognitive mind trick. If Love’s voice resides in me, then it is wise to put her to good use. What I have started to practice is to visualize her as a bluetooth speaker that I can pull out of my head and point right back at myself. It’s as if I turn her volume on high and let her words spill over Rude and Liar’s unhelpful and often hateful smears. It’s not magic, it doesn’t work right away and it certainly has not changed all of my age-old and deeply embedded, unhelpful thought patterns, but what it has been accomplishing is movements in the right direction. Some movements are small and others are not but they are all leading me along more helpful actions and all of these movements, whether small or not-so small, begin to add up and form a pile of wins for Love. These wins become evidence that I need to believe Love’s voice over the others. These wins become witnesses in the court of my mind that I can point to when Rude and Liar start barking loudly again. I can point to the wins and say, “Not today Rude. Not today Liar because look at all the wins I got by shutting you out and taking Love at her word!”
This practice takes metacognitive muscle; a genuine awareness of what my thought patterns are in order to begin to intercept the thought patterns that are downright harmful. This may sound like a lot of work and what’s the point anyway? I think of Jesus’ words in John 10:10, “The thief comes only to steal, and to kill and destroy. I came that they may have life, and have it more abundantly.” The Greek word that was used here for “life” is the word, “zoe”. Zoe can be defined as, “life real and genuine, a life active and vigorous, devoted to God”, according to The NAS New Testament Greek Lexicon.
Jesus came so that those who believe in Him would have a life that is real and genuine, a life active and vigorous, devoted to God. If my life cannot be described this way, I begin to ask, “why?” Either Jesus is lying or there is something going on in my mind that is blocking a “zoe” life. In my own life experience, when my life feels pointless, directionless, visionless and just plain exhausting, I can examine myself and observe the many mental processes that have gotten derailed and led to a life that is wearisome and downright unenjoyable.
I love saying that God does not make junk. In fact, God created each one of us with a unique plan and purpose. Discovering that plan and purpose is a part of what life on earth is all about. Chasing that plan and purpose requires a level of discipline within one’s mind that is no small feat but the joy and invigorating energy and sense of purpose that comes when we align ourselves with the Father and work alongside His perfect, pleasing and good plan (Romans 12:2) for us, is the substance of what makes life worth living. It is the kind of energy that seems boundless. The kind of joy that our earthly bodies cannot contain, it spills over and impacts the people we interface with on a daily basis. The kind of energy that humans cannot resist because it is divine and here is where we can not only see but experience in our flesh that being filled with the Holy Spirit is a real and tangible experience that not only fills us with joy and hope and love but supplies our loved ones with it too. It flows out to our boss, to our coworkers, the attendant at the car wash, our kids, our friends, our social media following and every other person that comes in contact with us and they are helped as a result.
The Father feeds us spiritually as we cast aside the voices of Rude and Liar and turn Love’s volume up loud and begin to act on the truth. As we take baby steps, toddler steps, teen steps or adult steps towards believing the truth about who we are and who God is, we experience alignment with our unique purpose and plan and are filled to the brim as was the experience of David, the Sweet Psalmist of Israel, “my cup runneth over”. The Spirit’s filling is electrifying and becomes evident to those around us. We begin to experience why Jesus died, so that He could be multiplied by way of His Spirit so that many will see and believe through the lives of those who already know Him.
This is why thinking about our thinking and course correcting our thought patterns becomes relevant and essential. There are countless areas in my life where I need to turn Love’s voice way up in volume. Thankfully, I don’t have to address them all at once. I can start with whatever negative thought process seems to be bothering me most right now. I can make the time to get quiet and write down some of the thoughts or voices in my head that are making me feel discouraged, hopeless, ashamed, afraid, etc. Then, I can compare these voices or thoughts to what God has said in His word. If they are not aligned, then I need to align my thoughts and voices with His only then can I experience the kind of abundance Jesus came and died to give me.
Love is patient…with me.
Love is kind…to me.
It does not dishonor me.
It is not easily angered…with me.
It keeps no record of my wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil…done to me or in this world but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects…me.
Always trusts…me.
Always hopes…in me.
Always perseveres…with me.
Love never fails…to love me.
1 Corinthians 13
Welcome to the 107 Livin Blog! My wish is to inspire and encourage you to start with your happy end in mind. Life is unpredictable, let's get livin!
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